Change one pattern, not your whole life

Think of one pattern that repeatedly takes you in a direction you do not want to go. It might involve anger, avoidance, dishonesty, unhealthy habits, the way you speak to someone or something you continually neglect.

Write down what usually happens just before the pattern begins. You may notice a particular situation, emotion, person, time of day or thought that tends to trigger it.

Then choose one better response to practise the next time that trigger appears. Keep it small and specific. For example, you could:

• pause before replying when you feel angry
• tell the truth instead of avoiding an uncomfortable conversation
• leave the room or put something away when temptation begins
• apologise quickly when you recognise that you were wrong
• spend ten minutes beginning something you have been avoiding

You might also pray:

“Jesus, help me recognise this pattern before it takes over. Forgive me when I fail, and help me choose a better response next time.”